Saturday, October 27, 2007

It's funny how you set qualifications for the right person to love while at the back of our minds, we know that the person we truly love will always be an exception.

For the past one and a half years, I have been crushing (liking) on one single guy only. This guy is a schoolmate and at some point in time, a classmate of mine. During our first year in Letran, we belong to different blocks that’s why I never knew that someone like him exists in this world. During those days, I’ve gotten a crush on one of his guy friends. His friend was supposed to be my partner on one of our presentations in school. I still never knew him by that time.

Halfway to the end of the second semester of my first year in Letran, an IT Sportsfest was held. My guy friends formed a basketball team and joined the sportsfest. When the day had come, Dyei and I watched the game to give support to our friends. Their first opponent was the team of this guy I am crushing on. At first, I didn’t notice him because I was looking for his friend. But unfortunately, his friend wasn’t there. I was able to notice him but I wasn’t still attracted. After that game, my friends’ team and his team will be playing again in the afternoon with different opponents. And during those times, I became aware of him.

After that day, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. And then, I realized that I like him already. He got the looks, the fair complexion, basketball skills though he is kinda short and got big eyes. But then, he caught my attention knowing that I am so picky and choosy when it comes to guys. He may not be every girl’s dream boy but for me, he can be.

Everyday, I used to look for him. I’ve got the chance to see him everyday. I really love his smile, it is so attractive. Their group is an acquaintance of my guy friends which makes me feel fortunate because I’ve gotten to see him almost everyday of the week. His funny side or sense of humor makes me like him even more.

Summer break came and I never gotten the chance to see him. And I could even live a day without thinking about him. With that, my admiration towards him fizzled out. It just vanished right away.

My second year started. I was able to see him but you know there was no spark at all. My girl friends used to tease me to him but I wasn’t affected. I didn’t feel the kilig factor. I concluded that I have already forgotten about him that time.

But to my surprised, when my second semester began, we became classmates in one subject. I promised not to like him again but I couldn’t help myself whenever I see him. In short, all the feelings came back. And from there, I knew that it wasn’t just a simple crush, perhaps, like or infatuation or whatever you call it but I assure you it wasn’t love. The feelings started to bloom without me even knowing it.

When the summer vacation began, I thought I could forget about him just like what happened during the last summer break but I was totally wrong. Everyday, the thought of him just popped out of my mind which I couldn’t stop. Those times, I can say, I realized how I like him that much. I can’t help but think of him.

When my junior life started, it became the most unexpected chapter of my life because of the turn of events. We were classmates in four subjects straight during Monday and Wednesday. And since, my guy friends and his group just became closer than ever, I’ve gotten the chance to see him everyday, as in everyday. I felt kilig whenever he looks at me but still, at the end of the day, I felt so depressed because I know he can never be mine. I started losing hope after knowing that two of my girl friends have this crush on him too. It felt so different that it came to the point that I was telling them that I don’t like him anymore. But deep inside me, I know it wasn’t true. I’m still into him and it would take time before I could finally get over him.

We often looked at each other and yet we never talked. We had all the chances in the world but we didn’t use it. It was just so saddening that I never got the chance to be close to him.

I also tried to get over him by pretending that he doesn’t exist in my world but I just failed. Well, everytime I make a plan about moving on or giving up, it seems that fate doesn’t want me to pursue. Destiny just keeps playing games on me which you know, made it more difficult for me to move on. It was so hard especially when destiny tries to stop me from doing so. I came to the point that I just let that freaking feelings eat me whole though I used to end up getting hurt.

And now, I just decided to give up on whatever I have for him even if destiny and fate try to stop me. I don’t care. Because I know, whatever I do for him to like me, I will end up getting hurt and being left out. I do believe that there is one guy in this world waiting for me and whom I really deserve. And I’m just waiting for the time that I could finally say: “I’m over him.”

Friday, October 26, 2007

I sit here, listening to everyone else's love story, and thinking "where's mine?"

The review class is finally over and I am not satisfied with what I have learned during this week. Actually, I am so worried that I might not be able to pass it because of the limited knowledge that I have right now. Though I learned a lot, still those are not enough to guarantee that I will pass the exam.

For the last three days of review, we did nothing. I was expecting that I could acquire a lot of knowledge today, which is the last day, but I was totally wrong. We did nothing but to sit, relax, chit-chat, laugh trip and net surfing. That is why for the last three days of review, I am so lazy to attend the review session because I know we will not do anything and I am so correct.

And for the past three days, only few attended the review class. We were like around 20 students and most of them were not attending the afternoon session. After lunch break, they didn't bother going back and they just went home. And actually, most of my friends were included on those people who didn't come back because instead of coming back, they went on playing Counter Strike.

Like yesterday, we attended the morning session and took the practice exam wherein I failed. haha :D After I took two sets of exams, I felt bored, sleepy and so fed up. It was so tiring to read several lines of scenarios and then, you don't have any idea of what is the answer amongst the given choices. The practice exam was so difficult, how much more the real exam. Gosh!

Lunch Break came. We had our snacks (because we didn't eat heavy meal) at 7/11. We were laugh tripping then. After that, the boys and some girls went to a computer shop and played Counter Strike again. They really love playing that game. Joanne, Eunice, Carla and I stayed at the Catwalk instead of watching them play. It is very obvious that we don't know how to play that computer game and we don't even have the interest of watching them play.

After lunch, we (Joanne, Eunice, Carla and I) went back to our room and went online. By the way, we watched the video of my debut party there and we were really laughing very hard because of some funny moments. Those were like bloopers. Since Eunice's laugh was very contagious, I can't help but laugh also plus Joanne's comments were so funny.

After how many hours of staying, we decided to go home without even knowing that our friends were waiting for us outside. We walked all together and even joked on each other. While walking, we were laughing as if we owned the place.

Tomorrow will be the MCP exams of my friends, Dyei, Julius and Paul. I'm wishing them the best of luck. I will pray that they will be able to pass the exams. Good Luck Guys! I really know you can do it. With the great intelligence you have, I doubt that you'll fail.

As for me, I'm feeling the nerves. I will start reviewing by tomorrow and hopefully, I could acquire the knowledge I need. I really want to pass this exam. And I wish God will guide me all throughout. Pray for us, guys! I just wish that all MCP exam takers will be able to pass the exam so we could have our grand celebration after.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

If there is one mistake in my whole lifetime that I can tolerate, it is when I have loved, though I know it wouldn't be appreciated.

The first two days of my review session were fine. It started out good though last Monday, we were dismissed late, as in super late. I had so much fun though at times, I felt bored. We only occupied one room to think we are around 60+ students. There were times when I find myself thinking something not related to the topic because I couldn't concentrate. So funny.

We already discussed a lot of things last Monday. Well, we only had two breaks, one was a 15-minute and the other one was 45-minutes which was our Lunch. I learned a lot of things though at times, I couldn't stop myself from daydreaming. haha :P But then, it was not really that boring because our professor and some of my classmates used to throw jokes or even say punchlines that made us all laugh. My first day was so successful.

Today is a rainy day because from the time I went to school until I arrived home, the rain continues to pour and actually, until now. I bet we will have a cold evening. The discussion started although most of the students were not yet present. And it was because of the problems on the LRT. Many came late because they were stranded after the LRT encountered some technical problems. We had a fresh start and I learned a lot of things.

After that, we had our lunch break. After me and our chillax friends took our lunch, we decided to fall in line since today is the claiming of our Registration and Assessment Form (RAF). When we got there, we were a bit surprised with the long line. It was jam packed as if we were about to watch a blockbuster movie. We fell in line at the back but a classmate of ours called us and told us that we could fall in line there. At first, I was hesitant because there were a lot of students at the back and they have waited there for a long time. But we really had no choice but to cut the line. After an hour and a half, we finished the process. I haven't paid for the tuition fee because I have no money in my pocket so as to my friends.

Since the rest of the chillax crew didn't want to attend the afternoon session of the review, we left them. Eunice, Joanne and I attended the last session and we thought that it was a good idea because we learned a lot. And the good thing was we were dismissed early.

Our review session will end on Friday and so far, I'm enjoying it. And by the way, the schedule of MCP exams was moved on Tuesday (October 30, 2007).

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Oftentimes, we ask for signs for us to know if he/she is the right one. What if there are no signs? Is the absence of signs a sign?

For the second time now, I participated in the campaign as a support for my uncle who is running for Kagawad in our barangay. The first time I involved myself to this kind of stuff happened several years ago for the same uncle of mine.

With me were my mom, daddy Cesar and tito Luis to give support for daddy Carlo. Several people were also present to give support to their respective family member and friends. It was actually a nice experience though the heat of the sun was so smarting. I really felt the pain as the sun touched my skin. But I know it was good for the body because it was the morning sun.

I didn’t do what they usually do like shaking hands with the people in our neighbor and ask them to vote for this someone. All I did was to walk and just follow them wherever they go. As for my mom, she just walked as well but whenever she sees someone she knows, she would do the talking.

Anyway, the campaign thingy just took only a couple of hours. It was fun experience. Actually, most of my uncle’s friends want me to run for SK Chairman but unfortunately, I just turned 18 and I am not allowed anymore.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. ~Dr. Seuss

I have already seen my grades and I'm pretty much satisfied with it. I passed all the subjects and it is the only thing that matters. I so love my professors. haha :D I have to ask for something in return. Joke! :D

Boring is the best word to describe this day and so as yesterday and the day before yesterday. I didn't do anything except for watching, net surfing, eating and sleeping. I just want to go out and unwind.

Anyways, next week, I will be returning back to school for one week review. Excitement and nervousness start to fill me. I am excited to take the exams because that would be my first time and it is a great opportunity to someone like me. I am nervous because I am so scared that I might not pass the exam, one thing that I don't want to happen. I wanna pass and it is my goal now. Wish me luck, guys!

Today is Eminem's 34th Birthday! He is getting older and older yet he still looks younger than his age. He maybe portraying a bad image but he is good inside and out, as well (as if we're close).

That's all for now. Boredom drives me crazy.

Monday, October 15, 2007

There's no such thing as not meant to be, for when two people fall in love, they are meant but sometimes, it's meant only for a moment.

Still, my entire body is in pain because of the procession yesterday. We really had a long walk plus my professor was such a VIP. It was so tiring but I was able to enjoy it because I was with my friends. Some sort of a reunion before the semestral break starts.

I read a tabloid this morning and found out that the NCAA defeated the UAAP on the Bantay Bata All-Star. I was not able to watch because I was not informed. Too bad. But after knowing that the NCAA squad won, I felt so glad. Though most of the players were from San Beda, still, the Letran Knights showed up most especially RJ Jazul. He was named the MVP after making 23 points. Plus Rey Guevarra was named the Slam Dunk King after receiving a perfect 50 from the judges.

Well, I don't have something sensible to share to you because this day is so boring. I just read a book and I am halfway to the end. Probably, I could finish it by tomorrow.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Just when the mind found the answers,the heart changed the question.

The first semester has come to its end. How time flies. I still remember the worries and fears that I felt before this semester started because I know that this sem will be much harder than before. But look at now, we were able to get through a lot of pain in the ass school works and I am so happy with what I have accomplished so far.

I didn't expect that I will enjoy this semester but hey, I had a super fun first semester. Being with the Chillax Crew is always a wonderful moment to cherish. Meeting new friends is one of the things that I will never ever forget about this semester. I was able to meet and be friends with those people whom I thought I could never be in close with. My bad impression about them just vanished after talking to them and being close with them. They are so nice and fun to be with. I enjoyed all the moments with my classmates in this semester and hopefully, we could still see each other in one classroom next semester.

We only had one exam today which is Literature and it was nosebleed. Yeah, believe me. I didn't expect that the exam will be that difficult that it took us a long time before we finished answering the exams. After the exams, the Chillax boys together with some of our guy classmates played Basketball. We, the girls just watched them play and we even cheered for them.

I am hoping that I could pass all the subjects that I have taken this semester and I am really crossing my fingers that I will be able to pass the MCP Exams that we will be taking on the 27th of October which is apparently two weeks from now.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

When the heart is willing to love, it will find a thousand ways. But when a heart is unwilling, it will find a thousand excuses.
Click the link above.

One exam to go and it is over. The first semester is about to end once again and I can't wait. Three more semesters to go and I'll be graduating. I'm really looking forward to that because I'm so excited marching down the aisle, accepting my diploma and of course, applying for jobs and being hired. Oh yeah, it seems that the real world is fun.

On the 22nd will be the start of our review for the MCP Exams and I can now feel the nervousness. Well, knowing me, I am so unlucky when it comes to exams like that and I don't know why. As a matter of fact, I didn't pass on the entrance exams of some colleges and universities that I took three years ago. I only had recommendations but I didn't pass at all. That is why, I am so nervous now that I might not pass the exam that we will be taking on the 27th. Hopefully, the curse will stop on the day that I will be taking the exams. I really wanna pass because my parents are also looking forward to it. So guys, please pray for me. Yet I know that God will never leave me and He will guide me all throughout.

Good news, our group were exempted in the SQA Final Exams because we reached the necessary grade. Not only us but almost all the Chillax Crew were also exempted and I am so happy about it. We all did a good job! Congrats to all of us. With that, we only took two sets of freaking exams today. Nosebleed. As in. haha :D I was not sure with all of my answers. Everything was new to me, I mean, even though I studied a lot, still, most of the questions in the exams couldn't be seen in the book. I am really worried. But hopefully, I could pass all of the exams including the exam that we are about to take on Saturday.

Online Enrollment is fast approaching and I'm still confused on what schedules to take. I want to be with my friends and I have this plan of taking those sections where they belong. So probably, it will not be a MCSE all the way. Unfortunately, my dismissal will always be at 6pm however, I don't have any 6-7:30pm schedule.

And by the way, on Sunday, we will be going out. haha :D I will be with my friends then we will go directly to Sto. Domingo Church for the procession.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Sometimes we can't let go of hurt because it is a constant reminder of one great love story we never expected to come to an end.

I am definitely in the mood for blogging now and I don't know why. I just want to post something, it may be sensible or not, still, I wanna post something now.

Yesterday morning, I was feeling that nerves were all over my body because I was thinking of that defense for my SQA Case Study. I went to school early so that I could discuss to my groupmates what is the system all about. It is very obvious that I was the one who did it but I have no complains at all. So what if I was the only one who did it? It doesn't matter as long as we gave our best shot on the defense.

Until the last minute, we were cramming because we were not informed that each group should have their own laptops. Thank God, JL was there and we borrowed his laptop. We were scheduled at 12nn yet our defense started at 2pm, I guess. Anyhow, it was a success. I thought, the panelist will be going to throw a lot of difficult questions but they didn't. They have been so considerate and I am so thankful. They gave us advices so that we will know what we should know when the real defense comes. We passed it yet we still don't know if we are exempted in the Final Exams and how I wish, we will be.

Final Examinations just started yesterday. I only had one set of exam which was not that difficult. Leakage was present again but knowing me, I don't usually involve myself to stuffs like that. Guilt takes me over whenever I listen to leakages. Anyway, just wish me and my batchmates the best of luck that we may all get passing remarks on the exams.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

If someone wants to be part of your life, they will make an effort to be in it. (natamaan ako sa quote. haha =])

They are now back on top, where they really belong. After a very bumpy elimination round and tough ladder semi-finals round, DLSU Green Archers finally grabbed the championship crown after beating the crowd favorite, UE Red Warriors in two games consecutively. It was really a good game, a classic series indeed.

After being suspended for one year, they are back with a vengeance. When the UAAP season started, everyone was expecting that the Warriors will win the crown because of their oh-so complete and tough roster, since no one graduated. The comeback of the Archers brought the loudest noise to the league because the rivalry between the Blue and Green will arise again. And they didn’t disappoint us.

They were beaten twice in the elimination by the Blue Eagles yet they showed the real heart of an archer by beating the Eagles in a must-win game of the season wherein they were able to get the twice-to-beat advantage and even beat the ADMU for the finals berth.

UE was the favorite team, the one being seen that will emerge as champs for this season. They had beaten the Archers twice in the eliminations and they were set to meet in the Finals. Game 1 was a must-see game. Green and Red dominated the Big Dome, as if it was Christmas already. No one expected the victory of the Archers yet they had shown what a champion team really means.

Congrats to the DLSU Green Archers for winning this season’s crown. They indeed deserved it. They had their sweetest comeback. This is their year and everyone should not be bitter about that.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Sometimes, no matter how long or hard you love someone, they'll never love you back the way you do. And sometimes, you have to be ok with that.

This is my first post for the month of October. I've been hella out of the blogging world because of the school works that we need to accomplish plus the Final Exams will start on Monday. I have experienced the worst week in my life. All Junior IT students in Letran were able to experience a hell week. We were cramming because of our SQA Case Study, as if it is that important. We were informed last Friday that the submission of the case study and the defense will be on the 5th of October. We were expecting that it will push through but to our dismay, everything was postponed and moved together with our major exams.

Our group's defense will be on Monday at 12nn that's why all the exams scheduled for Monday and Tuesday were moved to Wednesday and Thursday, respectively. And I really don't like the idea. It is some sort of punishment to us, I guess. And from what I've heard, the defense for this sh*tty subject is so difficult. Yeah, I know, he (our prof) is trying to train us or practice us so we will know what to do when the real defense comes but the schedule doesn't fit. I mean, it is okay for me if there is a defense, it will always be a part of college life but hey, it's already final exams and of course, we also have things to do. And he even moved the exam just for this st*p*d defense.

Anyway, a week after final exams will be our review for the upcoming MCP Examinations and of course, I am nervous. This exam is far different from those major exams that we used to take in school. The exam will be on the 27th and everyone is preparing for it. Actually, we are more nervous about that exam more than our Finals that will start on Monday to some but for us Junior IT students, on Wednesday. This exam is equivalent to Board Exams but the difference is that we have to pass a number of MCP Exams before we could claim the title (MCSE, MCSD, MCDBA) but passing one exam would be an achievement for all of us. Once we pass one of the exams, we will be a Microsoft Certified Professional.

Just wish me and my groupmates luck for our defense on Monday. Our future lies there. haha =] And on our final exams as well. Hopefully, I could pass all the subjects and could make it to another level again.

And by the way, my dad went back to Saudi already and I am so sad about it. But I know I have to accept the fact that he needs to work there to give us everything we need and want. I have to wait for another year and a half just to be with him again.