Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Pretending I don't feel anything for him is like convincing myself that I could probably deny the only one thing I can be sure of.

this day is like just any typical day of mine. i woke up at 9am, ate my breakfast, and watched tv. well, i'm sicked of doing the same stuffs everyday. actually, i'm looking forward to the opening of classes this June. but i still have one problem and that is i need to add another major subject on June 5 because i failed to add it during the On-Line Enrollment. hence, i need to go to school early on June 5. Joanne and i will be taking the same schedule and hopefully, everything will be successful by then. i'm a bit nervous because i know all the lessons and modules that we will be taking will be a lot harder than before since we're college Juniors already. i'm expecting more challenging and tougher lessons and of course, projects. and by this time, i'll try to be as independent as i can. i don't want to be dependent with my classmates and friends in terms of assignment, projects and the like. if it is needed that i should work all alone, i'll do it so i can prove to myself that i can do a lot better when i'm trying my very best and not by seeking so much help from my friends. but of course, at times, i should ask for their help but not most of the time.

and i'm taking this opportunity to thank those people who had helped me on my first two years in college. Dyei, Eunice, Julius, Paul, Niko, Marco, Ian, Joanne, Kath. to those people i haven't mentioned, i'm sorry but thank you.

actually, before, i was really afraid to be alone. i wanted to have someone to accompany me all the time because i'm shy. honestly, i'm afraid of people, of new faces, of crowd and i don't know why. perhaps, i lack confidence which i'm trying to work on ever since. i'm afraid to try new things because i'm scared to be humiliated in the end. people really freaked me out. maybe now is the right time for me to gain a lot of confidence and be proud of who i am. i should be as active person as i can be. i shouldn't be afraid of trying new things. just wish me luck as i step towards another level in my college life.

Updates:
American Idol performance night. watch out for Blake! i hope he'll give his 100%. remember, he is the only guy now in the competition now.
Suns won against Spurs which makes the series tied at 1-1.
a 2-0 record for Cavaliers for defeating the Nets.